Many people today have forgotten that social skills existed long before social book marking sites and other Internet social communities existed online. The dictionary (Concise Oxford Dictionary, 1964) has nearly a page listed dealing with the word “social” and derivatives of, but the meaning we are most concerned with in this article is the definition given to the word social:

“social:a.& n. Living in companies, gregarious, not fitted for or not practising solitary life, interdependent, co-operative, practising division of labour, existing only as member of compound organism, (man is a social animal; social bees, wasps, kinds having common nests etc. ~birds, building near each other in communities; ~plants, kinds that grow thickly together & monopolize ground they grow on)”

People have been social creatures since they first learnt the benefits of not clubbing each other to death.  (more…)

If you are reading this you may be a member of one of the hundred’s of social book marking network sites now available on the internet. No matter which social network sites you prefer, courtesy is needed everywhere. The two most popular ones right now seem to be Twitter and Facebook. Over the past 12 months Facebook has had a few security scares and I have known Twitter to have had to close down for a short spell due to a cyber attack.

It doesn’t matter which social network site you belong to, the same rules need to apply as to everywhere on the internet and that is to be very careful with your private information. Identity theft is always on the prowl so you need to follow every precautionary rule you’ve ever heard of. Your safety depends on it.

To be a courteous person doesn’t mean you are obliged to give out or share your private details. You really do need to be very careful about anyone who asks for them. If you know or trust the person, then it’s a different kettle of fish, but if someone asks you for private information out of the blue, be very leery. If you seriously doubt their good intentions, report them. Someone else may not be as wise as you.

There are innumerable products and services available for Twitter to increase your followers and I suggest taking great care before you simply press the follow button if you have been contacted by someone who has added you into their group.

One of the ways I was caught (and I hope it was the only way!) was to check the ‘follow’ button before looking at their page. Porn thrives momentarily on Twitter and if you aren’t careful you could end up with your name following some rather undesirable contacts.

Full marks to the Twitter moderators group though once they have been advised of these undesirables, they are gone so fast you can’t hear the “twep” as their feathers fly. But they are in an industry that perseveres and sooner or later another one will try to get in on the conversations.

A nice social network courtesy that always makes me feel welcome and warm is to receive a ‘thank you’ message from someone once I have clicked on their ‘follow’ button. I always think this is a very pleasant and good mannered thing to do and I seem to remember who has done it and when I see their tweets I am more inclined to see what they have to say. So apart from it being a nice courtesy, it’s also a great way to increase ones readership. And my experience to date is that they usually have something very interesting to say.

These are the Twitter members we all want to find and it seems the best way of finding these like minded people is to follow them back with a “thank you for the follow message”

Chivalry is a word that brings a polar response from women today either because they don’t like/want it or because they aren’t getting any chivalrous acts done for them. No wonder people are so confused and uncertain as to what is the correct behaviour!

The quick answer to this would probably be : “Do what you think is right” If it feels right to you, then it IS right for you. If someone that you have done a chivalrous act for does not appreciate your kindness and consideration, then clearly you are not associating with the right person or people.

So what is chivalry today? It is made up but not limited to, the following elements:

• Good Manners
• Kindness towards others
• Consideration of any and everyone around you
• Thoughtfulness towards others
• Generosity of spirit and with physical things
• Doing something for someone before it is asked of you
• Showing grace and elegance in response to an act of chivalry

And a myriad number of other smaller things that are just ‘are’ without being big things but make a person feel good about themselves and their world. Another way of putting that could be “making a difference” in someones life in a non-obtrusive manner. It could be as simple as a smile in passing a stranger on the street.

It is a complicated meaning for such a small word yet it brings out such a huge emotional response from both men and women.

Men because they want to provide and do something for their female friends yet too often feel unappreciated for having done it or worse, even ‘put down’ for having done it.

Some women feel that it threatens their independence while other women aren’t comfortable about it because they simply don’t know how to respond to such an act of uninvited or unexpected kindness.

Uncertainty on both sides leads to ill-feeling between people and consequently no-one knows any more just what is or isn’t expected of them. The short answer to this sometimes humiliating question is “if it feels like it’s the right thing for you to do, then do it.” This way you will be being true to yourself and this is very important.

If you are a man, and your inclination and upbringing has been to show respect to women by opening doors and pulling out their chair to seat them before you get seated, then do you really want to be associated with someone who doesn’t share the same values?

If you are a woman and the male person you are with plonks himself down first or doesn’t bother opening a door for you, if you have been brought up to appreciate these little gestures, do you really want to be associated with or spend the rest of your life with some one who has such bad manners and lack of consideration for you? No, it wouldn’t be worth the regret or divorce court stress.

So the old saying of “Birds of a Feather, Flock together” is a pretty good rule of thumb to follow when it comes to finding like-minded people to hang out with.

Do you have good Facebook manners?